Monday, October 4, 2010

Shattered Glass



For months we have been trying to fit in a real gem of a restaurant and we finally thought we found one. Of course, that meant we had to venture out into BFE (aka The Heights). This seems to be the up and coming area for restaurants. Unfortunately, we sampled all we needed to in this area. Was it worth the drive all the way down I-10? Debatable!

Primero Uno: The restaurant is named The Glass Wall. However, for such a see-through name, it was not nearly glassy enough for our tastes. Would you like to pay to valet your coche right in front of The Glass Wall? I would! Not! It would have been easier for me to park my own car than go through that glass tape!

For a Thursday night, the restaurant was totally empty. The bar was hopping though. This makes us question the quality of the food. Maybe it was the staff keeping people from the dining room. Upon seating, we were presented with a small token: a dish full of green liquid we could only guess to be oil. This gem was followed 30 minutes later by the lackluster bread. Not impressed. Keep this in mind; know what you want before you get there because you only have one chance to order. After this chance, your waiter will disappear for what seems like hours on end.

When we finally ordered, we chose to start with some appies. Skip the corn chowder! Do not look at it on the menu or in person. It is nasty! Absolutely no taste. Recommended if you have no taste buds. The crab cake is good if you are really hungry. But it is very small: no Texas portions here so leave your stomach at home. The one diamond in the rough was the beef brisket that came with the most lovely potato salad we have had the privilege to eat. This is when you call your stomach on the cell phone, apologize for earlier, and say "Hey! Get your ass over here for some good lovin'." That is all we have to say about that...
The mains were pretty much along the same line. One gentleman in our party ordered the salmon. He ate it all so it must have been delicious. Since we don't fish, that is all we have to say about that... If you are tempted to order the pasta, wake-up, get in your car, and drive to the Olive Garden. This is the only time we will ever mention this hell hole of a dining experience. I would have enjoyed O**** G***** left overs more than the pile of blah I paid over $20 for.

On a lighter note (or fattier note), the potato chip crusted chicken fried steak was pure perfection. That is of course if you forgo the mashed potatoes. They tried to fancy up the potatoes by calling it Mashers but we all know what this means. A side dish that the Chef can make and forget about until the little Hispanic man plops it on your fried steak with an ice cream scoop. Done.

What really makes this glassy wall totally see-through is the "well trained, fine dining" wait staff. All we can say is "You know you paid too much when the water guy clutches the rim of your glass with his been-there-done-that hands." PUke! Oh! A shout out goes to the Manager:

Dear Manager of Glassy Disappointment,
I believe I saw you breeze by my booth about 15 times last Thursday night. In answer to your missing question, "Yes, the service is fantastic!"
Thank you for a forgettable experience that I have already told 6 people about.
Silly Girls

Done!